Do come in.
Leave the door open - you’ll be wanting to go back to your day shortly. I understand you are here for the Advent Calendar.
This is not the calendar itself. You have entered the office. The calendar has not yet appeared because Advent is not yet upon us. But in a few days this room will disappear and the first door will magically manifest!
As I’m sure you know, an Advent calendar is made up of many doors. And to open the door you will need a set of 24 keys.
How do I obtain such keys? - I hear you ask.
With hard cash - I reply.
Each key opens one day. And each costs £1 and each piece is made especially for you to enjoy so £1 is in fact a massive bargain.
A precious key
If you want a job lot, all 24 keys, you can buy them for the knock off price of £23.
£20.
£18.
£15 is my lowest offer.
Two for the price of one £12.
£12 is my lowest offer.
£12 and that’s a crazy deal because the original price was £24.
Done.
You barter well, my friend.
IF YOU ARE IN ISOLATION OR HIGH RISK THIS ADVENT, YOU CAN ACCESS IT FOR FREE!
(Please send an email through the contact page if this is the case)
If you want to go to the shop, to buy our calendar, then click on the reindeer below :
And for those of you who would like more information on advent calendars, read on…
Advent Calendars. What do you need to know?
1
A good Advent Calendar appears on the first of December - in the deep midwinter - traditionally within your own home - and it assumes the form of a simple picture on the wall. This could be a rather nondescript desert scene or a village snow scape. Nothing out of the ordinary.
For the first rule of the Advent Calendar is DISGUISE.
Here at oddvent.com, our Oddvent Calendar is extremely well disguised. And this, in turn, might DISGUISE you. To the outside observer, you might appear to be hard at work writing a boring email. Or reading a spreadsheet. Only you and I know different.
On top of this, our Oddvent calendar can disappear and reappear at will. If you were to go to the spot marked x - over there - and press it - don’t! - then it would be as if this office had never existed.
For we at Oddvent are masters of DISGUISE.
2
An Advent Calendar holds many secrets, each hidden behind a door.
Terrible secrets?
Perhaps.
Can I open the doors to see the secrets all at once? NO! WAIT!
Look closely. Each door is marked by a number. A Hindu-Arabic numeral - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and so on. And each number corresponds to a day of the month. 1 for the first of December, 2 for the second, 3 for the third, 4 for the fourth, 5 for the fifth, 6 for the sixth, 7 for the seventh and so on. When the day arrives, the door opens - and not before.
For the second rule of the Advent Calendar is PATIENCE.
It is very easy to break the rule of PATIENCE, particularly if you suspect there might be a chocolate behind the door. And so we at Oddvent hold the key to the door and we will not let you have the key it until the time comes.
We are not Bluebeard.
We carry the burden of PATIENCE for you.
3
The third rule of the Advent Calendar - vital - ACTION.
For it is you who must open the door. It is you who must turn the key. Give the password. Whatever it takes.
For the Oddvent Calendar is an interactive experience where nothing happens twenty four times, if you do nothing. You must open the door. You must ACT.
We at Oddvent think about your ACTION a lot.
It is practically all we think about.
We think about you opening the door.
And us.
Behind it.
Waiting for you.
Hoping you come.
Hoping to God that you come.
And then -
4
DELIGHT!
What?
The fourth rule.
For O - what wonders lie in store behind those doors!
Extraordinary visions and impossible things!
A man of snow!
A glass bauble!
A nut!
A chocolate disguised as a nut!
Yes, the third rule of the Advent Calendar is DELIGHT and we at Oddvent are masters of DELIGHT.
DELIGHT all day long for 24 days?
Not quite. Once the door of the Calendar is opened, and you have had your fun, you return to your daily life, as you were before. Except … now you know what was behind the door. You know, for example, that there was a nut behind the door.
And that is not something you can un-see.
5 & 6
So, from 1st through 24th December, you will come here to this office of advent, to this exact spot, and we will help you to find a door and then you will give the password and the door will open.
But only - mark me - if you come alone. For this is the fifth rule. We call it SOLITUDE. You act alone to open the door.
Though it is true that all over the world, we are all opening the door onto the same day. The first, second, third of December and so on. And thus it turns out that the sixth rule of the advent calendar is FELLOWSHIP.
We at oddvent.com are masters of both and masters of neither.
And so we come to the final rule.
7
You may have heard that on the twenty fifth day, the Saviour of the World will appear.
But, as you will know, if you have ever seen an Advent Calendar, there is never a door marked 25.
You may believe that at midnight on the 24th day, the cry of a new born babe will ring throughout the halls of Advent. And you may hope that you will be the one to find a door marked 25. But there is never a door marked 25.
You may run through the corridors, hoping against hope to find this door and smash it down and whisk the child into your arms and run and run and run and never look back. But there is never a door marked 25.
Do not seek it out.
This is the final rule.
And we, at oddvent.com, are masters of the RULES.
Any questions?
How do I get in? How do I get in???? O how do I get in????
As I said at the top, you’ll need a set of keys, which you can buy for £12 at the SHOP.
You choose how to pay, you hand over the money and, after this crude financial transaction is behind us, you can utterly give yourself over to the experience -
The contemplation of a beautiful object that is, for just a moment …
… yours alone.